i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
