how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
