omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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