Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
