Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
