There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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