This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
