smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
