My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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