everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
