He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
