Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
