Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
NoShamevember. You game?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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