Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
