I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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