i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
