just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Drunk is not a location!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
