Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
