I'm gonna have a badass scar
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Panties = found
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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