This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
