Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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