Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
