i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
