1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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