all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
