she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
