He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
