if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
