We're facebook friends in real life
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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