he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
