just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
