I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
