corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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