Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
