I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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