Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
