Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
