She said her name was "party"
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
