She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
