This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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