Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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