its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize