theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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