I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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