I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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