Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
