i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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