If that was your dad, he is hot
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
