this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
