she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
As shirtless as possible
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
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