There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
