Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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