Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
