just come out here and I will go home with you...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
its liver damage thursday
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
