I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
