What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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