hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
