I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
