ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
