sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
