Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
there's paper in my vomit.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
