i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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