hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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