How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
