I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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