I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Boobs speak an international language.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
