There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
