Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
