She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
organizing the empties. That sober.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Rumble strips road head = magical
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
