I just threw up on my dentist
she pinky promised me she was 18
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
