i barfeds in our rink
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
