I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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