You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
