Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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