Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
