it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
